Time check : 5:15 P.M .
Warning ! This is gonna be quite a long and boring post about my past . Do not read if you're not interested . Thank you C:

Today is a very special day for all the woman who always seem too naggy but actually just wants the best for their kids . On this mothers' day , I wanna express some of the feelings I've never got the courage to say it out loud .

During my teenage years , I must say , I have hated my family . Probably more than anyone can expect . In my mind there are always thoughts of me running away from home . I've tried saving up money to get myself a room outside , and even thought of staying with my friends and how fun it will all be .

But the savings remain stagnant . Every time I save , I always end up spending away the money on buying gifts or treating meals to my friends , and of course buying stuffs that I do not need .

I only grew out of that " run away from home " thought after my sis got married and moved away . Which was then I finally got a room of my own in the house . I always wondered ; Why do I share the same room as my brother ? Aren't sisters suppose to be sharing rooms instead ? Maybe that was why I was never close with my sister .

All the scoldings and beatings that my Mom gave , has really made me hate her a lot but at the same time made me independent . I still remembered how I was thrown out of the house , together with all my clothes . I would be crying hysterically outside the door as my Mom watched me . After a short while , she would then leave the door open for me to let me in . I wished I was a better child for her .

I still remembered how my brother was the most pampered in the house , everything he wanted , he got it . Whereas my sister would always be the one receiving the beatings as she was the eldest child in the family and had to set a good example for us .

Being the middle child , I was often neglected . Yes of course , I was pampered once , as I was the brightest child in the family . I had the ability to learn things really quickly and got better grades than my siblings . But things changed after I hit Secondary School , as I got to know a few bad company .

I still remembered my Mom found cigarettes in my bag and I lied that they were my friends' . I still remembered being an accomplice for something that I should not have done cause of my peers' influence over me . I still remembered the shock on my parents' face as the police came down to my house to bring me back to their HQ .

The things that I shouldn't have done , I apologise for it Mom . There were some gut wrenching times in these short 20 years but whenever you saw me crying , you would always say, "阿妹啊，有什么事可以打电话还是 SMS 跟妈咪讲。" Even though she never really knew how to text she still wanted me to open up to her . Thank you Mom .

I have grown up a lot , even though it isn’t that evident . I’m fortunate to come home and hear my family snoring at the end of the day , even if we don’t see or communicate with each other , I am comforted by the fact that we are under the same roof and that gives me so much security and puts me at peace .

My heart swells up when I think about all the tears you’ve shed and all the things that you have done for me .
Thank you for going through all the tough pregnancies and eating nutritiously so that we could be born healthy .
Thanks for taking the time to sit me down as a kid and made sure I did my homework.
Thanks for always asking where I'm at and what time I'll be home. ( I'm sorry for the calls I've purposely not answered and the worries I've given you ) .
Thanks for giving me space when I needed it .
But lastly , thanks for never letting go of me and for that I can never repay you.

Thanks for the people who read the whole post xx.